Men, Let Our Prayers Not Be Hindered!
In American culture today, one of the prevailing philosophies that has caused much destruction is the idea that there are no differences between men and women. Men should do and be everything that women do and are, and vice versa. This philosophy of the world has affected society, the family, and even the church. But it is false, a lie from Satan devised to destroy, and Satan has been quite successful in this regard. Christians in America have suffered great losses because this lie has run rampant. But the sword of God’s written and living Word will, in a moment, cut through all falsehood and bring truth and life.
The truth is that men and women are completely equal in value as God’s children, His created beings, and equal before the cross, heirs of the same grace and of life eternal if they have received it from Jesus Christ Himself. But this simple truth of equal value and grace has been entirely confused with a very different and false idea of sameness in design, meaning that men and women are the same in how they are created and how they are called by God to walk in His holiness. The following scripture regarding marriage gets to the heart of this issue, but for my single brothers, pay close attention! There is just as much of a spiritual battle for you in this arena as for anyone else. You, too, must know how to treat your sisters in the body of Christ. And sisters, read on! You should know the battles we all face and how to pray.
You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
(1 Peter 3:7)
As Peter exhorts the churches to holy living, he calls husbands to two things regarding their wives: understanding and honor. First, to live with their wives in understanding (or according to knowledge) as with someone weaker (or a weaker vessel), since she is a woman. This weakness says nothing about her value or intellectual capacity, but about her unique physical, emotional, and spiritual needs that must be understood and covered by the Husband (or by Christ and the church if she is unmarried). The philosophies of the world would have us as men completely neglect that understanding! And this is the charge that men have to learn to take up again.
Take note, right away, at the mention of the word weaker, I know that, if preached in many congregations, you would feel a wave of tension fall over believers because this particular lie of Satan has already dug so deep in our hearts. We are greatly afraid to admit to ourselves or fellow Christians that men are different than women, because of the guilt and shame thrown at us every day from the world. But if we will let both the written word of God’s scripture and the living Word of the person of Jesus Christ, dwelling in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, speak to us about this fear, we will have a chance to turn and repent from it. If we will let God be God, trust that Jesus is full of grace and truth, and take God at His Word, then we can see clearly and turn to Him.
Second, the husband (and Christ and the Church, if she is unmarried) is to show her great honor as a “fellow heir of the grace of life.” This rebukes every man who has used his headship (Ephesians 5:22-33) of the home, or leadership in the church, to selfishly rise above women in the wrong way, treating them as anything less than daughters of the King of Kings and disregarding their critical function in the body of Christ and the Father’s kingdom plan.
Life or the Law
Another example in 1 Timothy 2, as Paul instructs Timothy regarding the importance of prayer - that critical communion with God, he specifically addresses God’s design for women in the church.
9 Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. 11 A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. 12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. 14 And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.
(1 Timothy 2:9-13)
Again, for many people in the church, this truth of scripture about God’s design for men and women would instill not life, as it should, but fear. Fear because we as a culture have gone so far down the road of the philosophies of the world, where Satan tells us there is no difference between men and women, and any other view is “abuse”. This passage creates in people a fear of guilt and shame if they have believed it as written, a fear that it will be used in the wrong way by those with selfish motives, or simply a fear that, if it is true, God is not good.
But God’s written and living Word gives life! God’s design gives life! The law instills fear. Paul is not creating a law about what women should or should not wear, or that women should never speak, but, as Peter did in 1 Peter 3, is admonishing women not to let the ways of the world dictate how they live, but to let their adornment be the internal design of God’s character, not external influences. Paul is giving us a revelation of God’s design for women to receive instruction in quietness and submission, not striving for the leadership, authority, or teaching office given in God’s design for men.
Many believers have no issue with these scriptures. Praise God. But men, to the degree that God’s word creates fear in us and we are moved more by the culture rather than by God’s kingdom, we must repent and allow God to change our hearts.
Prayer
Again, in 1 Peter 3:7, the charge is for men to live with their wives in understanding and honor, setting their home on the ground of Christ. We should reflect on the extraordinary consequence of not living this way with our wives: that our prayers could be hindered.
Play that out for a moment in your mind. Peter is showing us that as men, we could possibly fall short in this area of sin, not understanding how our wives or women in the church are designed, and as a result, our very communion with God through prayer and seeking the Father’s heart and asking for things would be “hindered”. There are other clear indicators in scripture that unconfessed sin will hinder your prayers and your relationship with God (Isaiah 59:2; Psalm 66:18; Romans 8:13; James 4:3; Matthew 5:23-24, 18:23-35), but this warning to men about a home out of order is what God has asked me to address.
I would think that a man in this state - coming to the Father in all prayer and petition, yet with prayers hindered - would be quite confused and blinded as to why his prayers go unanswered, still eternally secure in Christ, yet seemingly receiving no response or opening from Heaven.
What gracious access we have to the Father. What infinite and eternal blessings God gives through Himself. But such a stark warning from Peter that if our understanding and honor of women is on the ground of the world instead of the ground of Christ, that open Heaven, that abundant gift of God Himself in our hearts, will not be removed, but greatly hindered.
Men, the charge falls to us to repent. When the men are leading in repentance, the women will know how to follow. To the degree that there is a gap between the current state of our hearts and the simple clarity of God’s written and living Word, revealing what God wants, we must repent.